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roblogging for future use
THIS IS WHAT YOU WOULD HEAR IN THE EVENT OF A NUCLEAR ATTACK OR DISASTER
Most nations have systems that allow them to speak to as many citizens as possible in the event of something catastrophic.
The United States has theEmergency Alert System that when triggered, will interrupt all T.V and every radio system to alert people of possible imminent catastrophe.
This is what that alert system sounds like.
i honestly don’t know what i expected but it really wasn’t this
Dakarai Molokomme, a 15-year-old starving child from a small village in Zimbabwe, has just told Madonna, one of the most famous pop stars in the world, to go and f*** herself, the local media are reporting exclusively.
“Yes, it’s true, I told Madonna to go f*** herself. Do you want to know why?” Dakarai asked. “It’s the same thing every time with these snobby rich Americans. Every once in a while they come to show us their support for the so-called eradication of poverty by adopting a child from a starving family, but they actually do more harm than good. Transracial international adoptions are part of the white savior industrial complex,” Dakarai explained.
In further discussions with journalists from the media, the kid stated that “none of the children here actually want to be taken away from their family and friends so they can be displayed as some kind of trophy in the homes of self-righteous singers or actors who want to score some points with the media and Oprah.”
“If they really want to help us, they should get Big Pharma to ship us some anti-retroviral drugs for the AIDS epidemic, or build schools and hospitals. If they don’t want to do that, then they can all go f** themselves!” the child told reporters.
The 15-year-old also stated that he would say the same thing to any one of those American or European “faux humanitarian posers”, except for Bono, whom he said he would also kick in the groin.
“Bono’s efforts to save the African savage from itself prove that the colonial imperative is alive and well,” Dakarai said as he walked with other village children collecting sticks to build a tree fort.
THIS IS THE RAWEST 15 YEAR OLD ALIVE
all the people around me are falling in love and im just here falling asleep
It’s so fucked when you lose your glasses like you need them to see so how are you supposed to look for them cause you can’t see shit
you do realize that people don’t turn blind when they don’t have glasses on right? Everything is just a little blurry
Yes thank you I’ve been wearing glasses for 10 years I know how it is when I can’t find mine which is why I made this post
[aggressively thinks about having sex with you while keeping a straight face]
Pro Tip: Instead of having feelings, try being dead inside. Everything is still horrible but you will not care at all.
this ask reminded me of a
really greatreasonably mediocre story from high school that i’m not going to tell you
i call this the box story
so in my high school gym class we had running and workouts for two days in the week and got the choice to choose which sport we would play for the other three days
well once we chose “cooperative games” where we got split into lil groups and had to accomplish a task together and that day the gym teacher gave us six random letters from these things:
and told us to make some kind of product idea that we could market based on them
so everyone got together and it was all random letters so a bunch of groups put together acronyms and made up products from that, but i looked at these six things and thought, wait guys, check this out
and i built a box
and then came time for each group to give a presentation about their product they made from these letters and everyone bs’d things about how their product would make daily life easier/more interesting/more fun/whatever and the teacher would ask them questions about their product blah blah blah
and she got to our group and we showed off our box, and we were like, it’s a box. for like, storing things. and you can take it apart so you can store the box. maybe even store the box inside a box
and my gym teacher was fucking BLOWN AWAY by our ingenuity, she lost her shit and she was like holy FUCK how did you think of that??
and everyone looked at me because i had come up with the box idea and i looked her dead in the eyes and because i never socialize and i don’t know how to make things up on the spot i blurted out in front of the entire class ”i just really like boxes”
and she was like ….okay, but how’d you think of the idea??
to which i responded, eloquent as i am, “i really like boxes” (i was thinking of the companion cube from portal tbh)
so naturally, she asked, “alright, and why did you choose to make a box?”
(can u guess what i said)
and she just kept fuckin asking me about this goddamn box like the Lord Himself came down from heaven to tell me to make a box like she would NOT accept that i just have a particular inclination towards Boxes
and now im an engineer at cornell university
anyway im on a laptop and can’t see the emojis that’s what i was trying to say
hey now wake up, wake up..
ahh… you can’t!
its forbidden to dive back into your bed.
the weather is good today,
it will be wasted if you go back to sleep.
stop saying something so selfish…
or i will sleep together with you…
*giggle* i’m joking
you don’t hav to be that anxious.
alright, wake up..